I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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