so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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