I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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