i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
