Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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