you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
