Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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