I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
