found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
