I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
