I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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