Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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