party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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