Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
