Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
