Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
tonight lets celebrate not being married
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
