I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
