god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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