is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize