Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we're making bets on your personal life
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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