There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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