You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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