I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
