I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize