Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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