High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
