i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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