Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I enjoy the company of your penis
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
