If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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