Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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