she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
