i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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