Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
