i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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