The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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