i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
