I hope mine doesn't look like that
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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