Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
