Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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