Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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