just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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