i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize