You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
