only if we run a train.
done.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
