you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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