Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
