I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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