I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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