She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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