Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
high people should be assigned attendants
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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