ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
