I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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