When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize