So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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