Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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