Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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