I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
This house was built for laser tag.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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