I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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