I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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