Four minutes until I can fart!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize